Under pressure

I’m not on Facebook.

I know that may be odd to most people but it’s not my ‘thing’. Hubby is and because we have been together a very looonnngggg time most of our friends are the same people. Occasionally I will go and have a look at what is happening in peoples lives.

Randomly a lot of us women all got pregnant last year so we are all doing the baby thing together.

The thing that irks me with FB is how perfect everything is. People don’t present the real life view. I have seen so many posts from the new mums who are first timers like me that have made me feel like poop. Now this is obviously my issue, low self esteem etc. but I don’t think it is.

I cannot believe that all these mums/dads have the perfect baby, that goes to sleep happily every single time, never has a nappy blowout, never cries and is always picture perfect happy.

I read as mums and dads with babies younger than mine go out on ‘date nights’ and I sit there wondering what the heck I have done wrong as I munch on yet another slice of toast for my dinner.

By the way the time I’m doing this FB check is when Sidekick is happily munching on the boob for her night time feed. She is on there for ages!! Anyone else’s little one seem to ‘tanking up’ at night.

I do get why people don’t post the more negative aspects of their lives but wouldn’t it be a little better if we did?

The pressure on mums and dads to create a perfect life with the new addition is immense.

Mums should bond immediately with their child, loose all the baby weight as quickly as possible. Dads should roll in from work not feeling stressed but equally should be able to maintain his pre-baby level of performance on only two hours sleep. Meals should be wholesome and eaten together once baby is down for sleep, mother has perfect hair and possibly even some makeup and you should be back practicing for another baby ASAP!

Now don’t get me wrong if you can achieve this great, but how??

I know everyone parents differently but I seem to be coming up against people who have created this amazing new life but are then sort of making this new life fit into their old one.

I do not begrudge date nights, hell I cannot wait for an hour alone with Hubby to just be with him but I have accepted that with Sidekicks quirks its going to be a little while before that happens.

I believe we can have it all, career, love, family but I don’t think you can have them all at the same time. Some things have to give.

So I guess what I’m wittering on about is about the truthfulness of FB. Do these people really have it all figured out or are they secretly like me? Outside of the perfect picture, they have laundry piles threatening to topple, their main food source is toast and cereal, they run out of dishes because they forgot again to run the dishwasher.

I know I’m judging and perhaps I’m just a negative nelly but I can’t help feeling that sometimes we are all guilty of down playing how hard it is to be a parent, especially in the first year. Maybe it’s because we fear that other people will think we regret our decision to have children or that we don’t love them.

I don’t know…just another mindless ramble….

The pen is mightier than the sword, why not say something

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