It’s a funny thing time, the passing of. I struggled to learn to tell the time when I was little, even now if I have to figure out something time related I need to see a clock face. It moves differently as well, super slow in those long, pointless meetings or super fast; your wedding day, your holiday, your baby.
I cannot believe Sidekick is heading towards six months. I can’t believe we have made it this far. I know it sounds dramatic, but I had no idea how difficult and wonderful being a mum could be.
I stare down at her sleeping face (yep still doing the one handed typing) and I try to imagine what her life is going to be like. There is so much for her to experience and yet I fear I won’t be able to give her everything. Is this how other parents feel?
I want to give Sidekick the world, yet I want to keep her close, safe.
The world is a scary place, now more than ever. Daily I read of another terrorist attack, murder, bombs being dropped, random attacks, racism, sexual assault, the list goes on. I know I can’t protect her from everything but I do at times wonder what world will she be growing up in.
Like I said I want to give her the world but I can’t. I know a good childhood isn’t one based on money and the things it can buy, but there’s a pressure. Both Hubby and I are well educated, four degrees between us, it hasn’t meant we have high paying jobs though. Hubby for a long time worked for a charity and I work in local government. Our careers don’t earn big bucks, but they do in a small way help the wider population.
So we as young adults didn’t do a lot of travelling, our first holiday outside of the UK was our honeymoon, after being together thirteen years! At times we feel sad that we didn’t take more risks, be braver, hindsight is a wonderful thing.
Now that we have Sidekick and jobs are less secure (darn cuts!) the chances of us having trips abroad, the latest technology etc. grows slimmer.
Part of me knows that what Sidekick will want, especially in the early years, is time with me and her daddy. There are adventures to be had in this country, experiences that don’t cost money, memories made that involve campfires and sleeping out under the stars. I know this but there is an annoying little voice that pops up saying she will be missing out that we are more and more a materialistic society and that she will be ‘different’ because of it. That’s the thing though, I don’t want Sidekick to be materialistic, I don’t want her to find happiness in the amount of ‘things’ she has.
Gah! I annoy myself.
I know I started off rambling about time but obviously I had other things to express.