Reluctant bed sharer

Baby asleep in bed

I didn’t want to do co-sleeping. It wasn’t that I was against it I was just too terrified of squishing the baby!

But here I am a bed sharing parent.

Sidekick has never liked sleeping in a cot or if I’m completely honest out of mine or dads arms.

We bought a Snuzpod for the first six months of her life. You can see the pod here. Nice eh? We splurged thinking it would be a good bed for our little one.

She used it a handful of times. I’m miffed about that, it was expensive and I bought cute cactus sheets for them to basically go unused. Hey ho.

The main reason we went with the pod was that it was a co-sleeper crib. It allowed Sidekick to be at my side but I couldn’t squish her.

For at least the first two months Sidekick wouldn’t sleep anywhere but on mine or her dads chest. We worked in shifts, he’d have her for two hrs, I’d feed and then have her for three. Hubby had longer to sleep as he was working a new job which had a lot of driving, had to make him as awake as possible. He basically drank coffee sludge for two months.

Eventually we were able to put her down for a couple of hours in the night. So it got some use.

But then at three months she turned into a kickboxer!

Seriously she would kick constantly, lift her legs up and slam them down. If we did manage to get her in the pod we’d have to have the side down so we could keep her legs still.

The kicking went on for months. All part of her brain wiring up.

So we moved her into her big crib hoping the thicker mattress and more room would help.


She went into her big crib at four months, she has spent one whole night in it and randomly that was when we had a power cut. I don’t think that had anything to do with it I just can remember it.

We generally get her into her crib at the beginning of the night, she may stay there for three hours, she may only last forty minutes. Her brain is so busy at the moment, she’s either rolling and waking herself up, practicing crawling and waking up or you know just waking up.

At this stage depending on how fidgety she has been, Hubby will depart to the spare mattress and Sidekick comes into bed with me. I started co-sleeping when Sidekick was five months.

At first I didn’t sleep when she was in with me petrified of the squish but over time I learnt to snooze. I don’t sleep deep, one murmur and I’m awake.

So as a reluctant bed sharer here are the safety rules I follow:

  1. Never bed sharer if you are taking medication, had an alcoholic drink or do drugs (just FYI, I don’t do any of these)
  2. Never bed share if you are exhausted. Now this is a hard one, we’re parents to a baby of course we’re exhausted, but this is the whole newborn baby level of exhaustion. I generally go with a rule if I’ve not had 4-5hrs (albeit broken) sleep, no bedsharing.
  3. Baby never sleeps in the middle. Our bed is a double, Sidekick sleeps in the star position thus taking up most room, dad sleeps elsewhere. Sidekick sleeps on the inside of the bed as her crib acts as a barrier, I sleep on the outside curled around her.
  4. No covers. Our quilt is turned down and I sleep in PJs with a thick robe. The tie of the robe is tucked in on itself so she can’t get taggled up. She;’s in her sleeping bag.
  5. Boob position. Sidekick is placed on her back so her head is at my boob level, this means she’s not near the pillow. However as she’s now squirming a lot more I just remove the pillow.
  6. Firm mattress. Personally if you have a memory foam topper or mattress I wouldn’t bed share, they mould to your body and I think it would be harder for a little one to move positions on one.

So those are my little rules. KellyMom website has an article here and also Dr.Sears has good advice here. You’ll also see that the image above is how not to do it!

How about you, did you always bed share or like me did you fall into it?

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